


To Be With You

by Semperfidani



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Alternative Universe- Modern Setting, Ben is a football player, College Football | Reylo, Expect flashback chapters, F/M, Living up to the family legacy is hard, Love will prevail in many different ways, M/M, Many emotional depictions across the range, Multi, Multi-Generation Star Wars Family Fic, Rey is a cheerleader, Reylo - Freeform, Reylo Modern AU, Reylo Retro AU, Sports is angsty, Sub-theme of mild depression, Sub-theme of sexual identity, The author takes generous liberties depicting college football, The search for identity will be a major theme, This is a love story and will have a HEA, alternative universe - college/university
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-11-02
Updated: 2018-11-13
Packaged: 2019-08-16 17:10:42
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Major Character Death
Chapters: 4
Words: 8,328
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16499402
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Semperfidani/pseuds/Semperfidani
Summary: Ben is a senior college football player trying to live up to his family legacy. Rey is a junior college cheerleader trying to find belonging. The shared feeling of isolation and longing draws them together; jealousy and depression pushes them apart.As they search for their identities, can Ben & Rey learn to love themselves…and each other?(Set in 2005 with flashbacks to the early 1980’s, this story will attempt to weave the past with the present against the backdrop of college football).





	1. To Be With You

**Author's Note:**

> This fic started off as a song prompt by @glarebare123 on Tumblr (To Be With You by Mr. Big). It was only meant to be a one-shot Tumblr response. But as I started typing, the story got away from me. I strongly felt a story spanning two generations needed to be told. So here we are. I hope you enjoy!

**Chapter 1: To Be With You  
**

_Hold on little girl,_ _show me what he's done to you._ _Stand up little girl, a_   _broken heart can't be that bad._ _When it's through, it's through._ _Fate will twist the both of you._ _So come on baby, come on over._ _Let me be the one to show you._

 _I'm the one who wants to be with you._ _Deep inside I hope you feel it too._   _Waited on a line of greens and blues._ _Just to be the next to be with you._

_***_

“Remember kid, you miss 100% of the shots you don’t take, so make sure you shoot first.”

“I’ll be sure to disappoint you,” Ben tossed the words scathingly at his father before scrambling out of the 1977 Pontiac Firebird Trans Am, nicknamed The Falcon by his old man, with a hard slam of the door, taking the pressure and expectations of his father’s failed dreams with him.

Ben glanced at his watch, then took off in a sprint across the campus if Alderaan University. He couldn’t be late for the first practice of the season. The hint of fall tinted the leaves, and the air was warm - but not hot - perfect conditions for the gruelling session ahead of him. Freshman scattered the campus with their maps, trying to find their classes as the start of the 2005 year commenced.

Ben noticed the heads of people turning to stare at him, mostly the girls, undressing him with their eyes. Objectively, he supposed he could be considered sexy to some, with his brown wavy hair and brown eyes inherited from his mother; from his father, a large aquiline nose and a chiseled facial structure that were definite Solo traits. His mother assured him that the moles scattered across his face was a trait he shared with his grandmother. She also assured him, usually with a note of concern, that his swagger & general temperament was all grandfather. 

At 22, he long since outgrew his awkward youth stage, filling into his once lanky body with lean muscles, accentuated by his large biceps and quads. He would never be considered conventionally handsome, but he wouldn’t lack in attracting sleeping companions.

But, as he found out repeatedly, his biggest draw was his family legacy, and the money attached to that. Some girls were subtler than others, but he was never on the receiving end of genuine affection or attention. As time went on, Ben preferred to be alone, and developed a reputation of being aloof & withdrawn. That worked for him quite well, much to the disappointment of girls like his ex, Bazine, who was more interested in a sugar daddy than a genuine relationship. He had no interest in that type of girl.

There was _one girl_ who could change his mind, but she didn’t seem to pay any attention to him, Ben thought to himself moodily.

A dark cloud hung over Ben’s head as he entered the halls of AU’s sports center, aptly named Skywalker Sports Facility. The evidence of his family legacy surrounded Ben, adding the heavy weight of expectation to his already bulky frame. Trophies engraved with the name of his father, mother, uncle and grandparents were encased in the freshly polished glass display in the front entrance.

Pictures adorned the walls in the hallways leading to the locker room, with the familiar stares of his kin seemingly mocking Ben. Missing from the wall was any championship picture of himself, which was yet another thing to add to his list of failures, Ben thought bitterly.

His father, Han, was the prestigious former quarterback of Alderaan University Rebels championship football team of 1983, and expected to make the first round of the draft, until his mother Leia, head cheerleader of the Rebel Squadron cheer team, derailed his ambitions with an unexpected pregnancy. From the moment of his conception, Ben’s very existence was the first of what was to be many disappointments.

The current round of failure began when Coach Skywalker, the golden boy star running back of the Rebels team of ‘83, made him a made him a defensive end, stating that Ben’s big body better suited for hitting than throwing. Ben pleaded with Coach Skywalker - _his fucking_ _uncle Luke_ \- to put him in as QB. Luke _knew_ what it would mean for Ben, but the insufferable know-it-all prick thought he knew best.

The worst part was that he put Poe _fucking_ Dameron in at QB. Poe, with his easy going style and flirty nature, was the kind of guy who every guy wants to be like, and every girl wanted to be with. Including _the girl_.

Ben knew it was all bullshit. Poe was a slut - to put it mildly - who would screw anything that walked if it meant getting ahead, blazing a trail with broken hearts along the way. Ben picked up more than his fair share of Poe’s burnt offerings over the years. Ben was heads and tails above Poe in every measurable way. _Try telling that to the girls who still wanted that asshole despite it all._ Kaydel, Jessica, Paige, and even his ex-on-again-off-again girlfriend Bazine...every single one of them had their names engraved in Poe’s trophy.

Ben also knew the secret Poe hid beneath his cocky facade. It wasn’t something that he gave a shit about, and given the locker room culture, Ben didn’t blame Poe for wanting to keep that secret close to the chest. But so help him if Poe even looks sideways at _the girl._

Ben was about to walk into the locker room when he heard cries coming from the janitor’s closet down the hall.

He couldn’t be late today as it was the first day of practice, and the top NFL scouts were here to observe. Coach occasionally benched players who showed up late, and he was especially hard on Ben; he wouldn’t put it past Luke to stick it to him.

But some chivalrous force was calling him to the closet. As quiet as his tall, lumbering body could, he quietly walked to the janitor’s closet. Opening the door, he found _the girl..._ Rey...beautiful Rey...the girl he secretly dreamed about...in her Rebel Squadron cheerleading outfit, curled in the foetal position, her hazel eyes wet with tears.

Ben crouched his tall body down, instinctively reaching out to comfort her, until he realized what what his hand was doing. He dropped it awkwardly, afraid to scare her.

“What’s wrong?”

Rey looked away embarrassed. Not that Ben could blame her. Their interactions these last few years was limited to a few interactions on the sideline, or one of Poe’s wild parties. Even then, those interactions were mostly Ben staring at her broodingly from a distance, choosing to isolate himself from others, while Rey tried to attach herself to people as if being alone was something to be avoided.

There was something about her that attracted Ben to her - as if he was a moth and she was a lampshade. She had the kind of personality that was immediately likeable; but there was also this imperceptible vulnerability that he picked up, as if he could sense her loneliness. He wondered if the look of fatigue that occasionally graced her eyes was because she was like him - lying awake at night, afraid of spending the rest of her life alone.

In many ways, he suspected that they were similar in that they both felt isolated and lonely. But whereas his anxieties led him to seek darkness, hers led her to seek light.

“You can trust me, Rey. I won’t say anything, I promise.”

Rey released a sobbing breath to calm herself. Ben could tell she was assessing whether she could trust him. He stared at her intently, excited but apprehensive at this opportunity to actually talk to her. Her brunette hair was tied in her signature 3-bun style, a quirky look that only she seemed to pull off - not all the dissimilar to the style his mother once favored. She stared at him for a moment & tilted her head, her adorable freckled nose wrinkling, and gave that look as if she had made up her mind to trust him. 

“I thought Poe liked me..a nobody...” Rey paused, her face flushing with embarrassment. “We went on a date...all seemed to go well. When he went to drop me off at my dorm room...he kissed me...and I thought it was OK at first….then he got all grabby...and I froze. It was like something took over my body, and I was at the orphanage again...with that disgusting pig Unkar Plutt...and the whole act became repulsive! I didn’t want any part of it!”

Rey paused to wipe a tear. Ben was getting increasingly angry, knowing where this story was going to go. Four years of sharing a locker room with that asshole, and he heard at least 20 variations of this song. But he didn’t want to embarrass Rey, so he let her continue talking.

“I thought everything was OK, and that he understood. But when I arrived at cheer practice today, Bazine started making fun of me. Called me a slut...a frigid cock tease..and threatened to go to Coach Holdo with fake stories just to get me kicked off the squad. I just got accepted, and with it, a partial scholarship that I can’t afford to lose!”

Ben’s heart seemed to race as he heard Rey’s breath catch; his eyes dilated as her soft pink tongue slipped over her lip and a single tear rolled down her face.

In that moment, he knew he would make it his mission to protect her.

Fight with her.

Fight for her.

Be her hero.

Be her reason for hope.

Find a way to have a future with her.

Be all the things she never had.

To embrace all the things from her that he’s never received.

With a resolved mind, Ben commanded, “Stand up. March into your locker room like you own it. You’ve rightfully earned the place on the squad. Don’t let Bazine or any other girl bother you. Brush off their insults as if it was dust in your shoulders. I’ll deal with Poe. If Baz or anyone, including Coach Holdo, gives you any grief, I’ll deal with them too.”

“Why are you doing this? Why are you helping me, a nobody?”  Rey trailed off.

“Because you’re not alone,” Ben replied, a touch of nervous anxiety tinged his voice.

Rey reached for his hand and as Ben pulled her up, her eyes glanced shyly up to him, and replied with a quiet, barely perceptible whisper,

“Neither are you.”

A shiver spread through their arm, as if they gave each other static shock. Rey gasped, her mouth opening slightly, her tongue slipping over her lip in nervousness.

Ben leaned forward slowly, bending his tall body to reach her height…

Rey stood on her tiptoes...lifting her face...her eyes staring into his…

“Stop!” bellowed Coach Skywalker from across the hall. “Ben, are you trying to piss your career away for a pair of pretty eyes?”

They both jumped back, dropping each other’s hand.

“You have 30 seconds to get to the locker room, or you can kiss your season goodbye.” Casting one last curious glance over to Rey, Luke retreated back into the locker room, mumbling something about apples falling from a tree.

Rey turned on her heel and fled to the cheerleaders locker room. Ben continued to stand there, and as she arrived, she turned and gave him one last glance, her face mixed with embarrassment and longing, before slamming the door.

With scant seconds to go, Ben slid into the the locker room.

This wasn’t over, Ben thought. Smirking to himself, he headed over to his bench.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am taking extreme liberties with this football fic as far as the actual sport goes. I am a huge NFL fan, so I understand the professional sport. I’m familiar with the basic gist of NCAA College Football, but Google is helping me out here a bit too. Thus, there may be a few liberties taken along the way. 
> 
> You won’t need to understand the sport to read my fic - it’s merely a backdrop for a larger story. But for those who do, you will at least know where I’m coming from! Lol.
> 
> If you like the fic, hit me up with comments below, or come chat with me on Tumblr (semperfidani).


	2. My Friend

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Finn processes upsetting news. A glimpse into Rey’s background. Rey’s POV re: the hallway encounter. Poe and Finn have an interesting conversation. Some old friends reunite.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: This chapter will have minor mentions of neonatal drug use & abusive situations (including an attempt at human trafficking.) I feel they are necessary for characterization & background motivation. 
> 
> There will also be derogatory language used by a character against Rey (& to a lesser extent, Finn).

__

**Chapter 2: My Friend**

_My friends are so depressed. I feel the question of your loneliness. Confide, 'cause I'll be on your side. You know I will, you know I will._

_Ex-girlfriend called me up. Alone and desperate on the prison phone.They want to give her seven years, for being sad._

_I love all of you. Hurt by the cold. So hard and lonely too. When you don't know yourself._

_My friends are so distressed, and standing on the brink of emptiness. No words, I know of to express this emptiness._

_(Song:[My Friend](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0kT5w27YxyI) by the Red Hot Chili Peppers) _

**One hour earlier...**

“Rae was denied parole.”

Silence. That was the only way Finn knew how to respond to news about his birth mother.

The only sign that this news affected him was the shaking of his hand against the windowsill of his father’s shiny black Buick LeSabre. On the other hand, it was hard to tell the difference between signs of general anxiety and the side-effects of neonatal heroin injection.

“You ever going to forgive her, son?” Lando glanced over, concern shadowing his gaze, before returning his eyes to the road.

“What is there to forgive? She chose to inject herself with heroin without any concern for my well being. She lied to the courts about you, tearing me away from a safe home and putting me into the hellhole that is the foster system. Why should I show her any more sympathy or care then what she showed me?” Finn said angrily, before turning to stare at the entrance sign of Alderaan University.

Lando sat quietly. There was so much Finn didn’t know; that he was unwilling to hear. Not that he blamed his son, who he only just reunited with himself. Maybe some memories were better left behind, he figured.

“Looks like we are here. Good luck with your senior year with the Rebel Squadron, son. I’m proud of all that you have accomplished. Don’t let anyone bother you or make you feel like less of a man.” Lando reached out and gave his son a hug.

Finn hugged him back, holding back on the emotions coming precariously close to the surface. “See you later, dad.”

Finn sprinted to the Skywalker Sports Facility, down the hall, and into the male locker room. Locking himself in the bathroom, he let himself cry while holding his one hand over the other to control the tremors.

***

Rey rang the bell as the bus neared her stop. Thanking the bus driver, she grabbed her gym bag and sprinted across campus towards the Skywalker Sports Facility, not wanting to miss a moment as a member of the Rebel Squadron.

Rey realized how lucky this opportunity was. She never dreamed she would ever attend the prestigious Alderaan University, much less land a spot on the highly acclaimed cheer team a few years ago.

Rey thought about all that she she had to overcome to get here. Abandoned as a child at the orphanage, she was eventually placed into foster care, where she bounced from home to home until the state settled her with the sleazy pig, Unkar Plutt. The pig forced her to steal parts from cars just to earn a meal, while fighting off the sexual advances of his seedy customers.

At 17, she overheard the pig selling her to the Crimson Dawn for unpaid debts, where she surely would have have ended up in prostitution. Quickly stuffing her meager items in a duffle bag, she snuck out the window and ran away, never looking back.

The first night was spent on the streets, where she met Finn, fleeing his own situation of abuse. Finn heard that the Sisters of Takodana were serving out warm meals & clothes. It was there where they met Sister Maz Kanata, who saw something special in them.

Sr. Maz was always a believer in signs. She believed that a Higher Force placed Finn & Rey there for a reason, and that her response to this gift was to guide Finn & Rey to their future.

“The longing you seek is not behind you. It is in front.” Sr. Maz would say that to them before going to meditate.

It was Sr. Maz that offered Finn & Rey shelter at the convent in exchange for light duties. It was Sr. Maz who connected them with Lor San Tekka, Dean of Jakku Community College. Dean San Tekka set them up with grants and scholarships to attend. In undergrad Drama classes, Rey & Finn demonstrated natural artistic abilities that caught the eye Professor Jyn Erso, who also happened to be the Coach of the Jakku Cheer Team.

Rey didn’t have a many memories of her life before the orphanage; she didn’t remember her parents, or where she lived, or even her last name.

But at night, she would dream about being a young girl wearing a cheer uniform, holding the hand of a dark-haired boy wearing a mask, yelling trick-or-treat.

In other dreams, she would be wearing a uniform, waving a pom-pom, the sound of women’s voices laughing in the background, as a tall figure would scoop up a young boy with dark hair and run towards the goal posts.

It was like she was destined to be a cheerleader, and it was an opportunity she took seriously. Rey & Finn spent every night practicing - and healing through free friendship therapy, sharing their darkest secrets and biggest dreams.

They quickly rose to be the top members of the team. Coach Erso’s husband, Cassian Andor, was the Head of Athletic Recruitment at Alderaan University. He offered Rey a spot at AU, along with prestigious Leia Organa Athletic Scholarship and a place with the Rebel Squadron. All her first year courses were transferrable for course credit.

At first, Rey was reluctant to leave Finn behind. But a higher force intervened once again, and Finn was reunited with his father Lando, a wealthy businessman. Finn was able to afford to go to Alderaan University, his weaker grades waived because he was a legacy student. Lando offered to pay for Rey’s dorm room & meal credits, expenses not covered by the scholarship.

Rey never took this rare opportunity for granted. Desperately wanting to fit in, she made sure to attend all the campus events & parties during orientation. Her roommate, Rose, introduced her and Finn to her sister Paige, who introduced them to Kaydel, Jessica, Paige, Poe...and Ben.

Rey pushed the thought of Ben to the back of her mind. To bring thoughts of the tall brooding man to the forefront of her mind would elevate the man to a level of attraction that she didn’t care to admit to…

Besides, she was making inroads with Poe Dameron. Poe was the kind of person where she could have a good, safe, secure future with - the kind of guy that good girls married.

Arriving early, she promptly changed into her outfit, before centering herself, mentally going through the routine they were practicing today.

“Oh look girls! The slut of Alderaan is here!” Bazine Netal announced loudly across the dressing room, levelling an icy stare and salacious smirk.

Rey froze, mortification at being called out reddening her face. “Excuse me?”

“You heard me, Orphan Annie. What, you didn’t think your little frigid cocktease routine with Poe wouldn’t get out?” Bazine looked like a cat having just found a bowl of milk.

Rey blanched, thinking back to the date last night with Poe. To when he got a bit too grabby...to when she froze, memories of her youth flashing in her mind...him apologizing...thinking they had an understanding...that he cared.

_Apparently not._

“I can’t wait until Coach Holdo finds out that you were putting out for the quarterback. Not that someone with your background would know this, but it is totally against the rules to fraternize with the boys from the team. You’ll be sent back to gutter you crawled out of, Orphan Annie. AU was tainted when they let trash like you and Rainbow Bright in.”

“Baz, fuck off…” she heard Paige yell from the corner, her voice fading as Rey ran out of the room.

Rey ran down the hallway, heading for the exit, gasping for breath as tears fell freely down her face when she spotted a familiar figure down the hallway, staring at a photo.

Ben Solo.

 _Ahhh shit!_ Rey came to a sudden halt, frantically looking around for a room in which to hide. She didn’t want him to see her this weak and vulnerable. Spotting the janitor’s closet, Rey darted in, curled into the foetal position, and resumed crying.

The door opened, and looking up, she saw the beautiful face of Ben Solo.

Her heart rebelled, and the longing she had for Ben came rushing forward in her mind, refusing to be suppressed.

****

“You OK buddy?”

Finn, alone in the male cheer section of the change rooms, looked up from his bench to see Poe Dameron staring at him with concern.

“I’m fine. Just family stuff,” Finn replied warily. “Aren’t you in the wrong change room? Shouldn’t you be with your team getting ready for practice.”

Poe grinned, sauntering over, sitting next to Finn before extending his hand. “You know you can trust me, right? I’ve got your back.”

“Yah, or course you do. You are dating Rey, and a friend of hers is a friend of mine” Finn replied back, accepting his handshake. He noticed that Poe seemed to let his hand linger before dropping it, looking away suddenly.

“Umm..sure. Yes.” Poe got up suddenly, as if embarrassed, and headed out. He paused, turned to give Finn one last wave, and left.

 _Well that was weird,_ Finn thought.

***

Rey slammed the door, then leaned back into in, falling into a sitting position, barely able to hear her own thoughts about her beating heart.

_I almost kissed Ben Solo._

_You’re not alone._ Rey couldn’t get those words out of her head as they played on repeat loop.

Rey put her face into her hand. Had Coach Skywalker not stopped them…

He was so handsome up close. She felt like she had seen him before, as if in a dream…

_You can trust me, Rey._

Rey normally didn’t trust anyone. Her mere survival required her to fight for herself, solve her own problems, rely on nobody else. Her circle of trust extended to Finn and Sister Maz. That was it.

Yet in a few minutes, she was willing to put her trust in a man of whom her interactions were limited to staring at each other from across the room at parties, the odd awkward hello, and a few conversations in which they mostly disagreed with each other.

He seemed to prefer to isolate himself and brood, where she enjoyed to be with friends. They were complete opposites in every way.

_And yet…_

“Hey, are you OK.” She peered up to see Paige crouching down. Rey nodded. “Just ignore Bazine. She is just jealous because she isn’t even anywhere near as naturally talented as you here. She is a legacy, and that’s it as far as talent. And there is no rule against dating other athletes here. So just ignore her.”

Rey smiled, thinking about Ben’s advice.

“I will. It’s time for me to show her why she never selected to do the individual stunts on the field!”

Paige giggled, grabbed Rey’s hand, and they sprinted to the field.

***

Han sat in The Falcon, thinking back to his interaction with Ben with a heavy sigh. It didn’t seem to matter what he said or did, Ben was determined to think that any advice was offered from a place of disappointment. At times, it felt like he was losing his son.

Maybe Han wasn’t the best of communicators when it came to his son. But it was his _own failures_ that motivated him to want the best for his son. Couldn’t Ben understand that?

_Tap tap tap!_

Han jolted out of his thoughts, looking out the window to a familiar face. He smiled and rolled down the window.

“How you doin, ya old pirate? So good to see ya!” Lando exclaimed. 

Getting out of The Falcon, Han reached for Lando into a hug.

“Not bad! How you doing these days?” Han replied with a grin.

“Everything you heard about me is true!” Lando laughed. “I see you still have The Falcon you stole from me. Is she still the fastest hunk o’junk in the galaxy?”

“Don’t you know it. And hey, remember that you lost her to me, fair and square!” Han grumbled.

“My biggest regret. You still with that angel?”

“Yep. How Her Worshipness puts up with me after all these years. But it’s been real good. How is Rae?”

Lando shook his head. “Not so good. I see that there’s a lot to catch up on. You up for a game of sabacc?”

Han grinned. “Let me call Chewie. Meet up at the same old joint in an hour?”

Lando grinned back. “Looking forward to it! Feel like wagering The Falcon?”

“Not on your life!”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for all the warm feedback so far. I welcome comments here and on Tumblr (semperfidani).
> 
> Next chapter, we will go back in time to 1982.


	3. She's Always A Woman

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A trip back in time to 1982. Han & Chewie go to the hot new club, the Crimson Dawn, where all is not what they seem. Han meets someone from his past. Lando is entranced by Rae Sloane, a new employee. The sabacc game comes with high stakes.

** **

** Chapter 3: She’s Always A Woman  
**

_She can kill with a smile, she can wound with her eyes. She can ruin your faith with her casual lies. And she only reveals what she wants you to see. She hides like a child but she's always a woman to me._

_Oh, she takes care of herself. She can wait if she wants. She's ahead of her time. Oh, she never gives out and she never gives in. She just changes her mind._

_(Song:[She’s Always A Woman](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Cx3QmqV2pHg) by Billy Joel) _

 

 **August 1982**  

Fastening the Playboy Bunny of ‘81 photo on the wall beside his pillow, Han stood back and assessed the aesthetic of dorm room.

“You know Chewie, sometimes I amaze myself,” Han signed to his roommate and best friend, Chewie.

Chewie rolled eyes, giving him a derogatory response.

Charles, or Chewie as everyone called him, was born deaf. Han and Chewie became friends while toiling as background quarterback and fullback, respectively. While Chewie could read lips and was more than able to play on the field with some accommodation, Han figured that once they took over the team, it would be beneficial to know a bit of ASL to communicate. With Chewie’s guidance and some lesson books from the library, Han self-taught himself passable ASL.

Han could count one one hand the amount of people he trusted, but there was only one person who had his back regardless of the endless stupid situations he got them in, which was often.

“I heard Lando is organizing a sabacc tournament at that new bar near campus, the Crimson Dawn. You up to a game?” Han signed.

_You almost got kicked off the team for gambling last year. The odds of Coach Kenobi following through if we are caught..._

“Never tell me the odds!”

***

The Crimson Dawn was the latest in the exclusive invite-only club trend. It was _the_ place to be seen, with live music, a dance floor, and gambling rooms.

It was rumoured to have a secret room on the top floor — with access only by personal invite of the owner. Whispers among the seedy underground was that the floor was a strip club, with high-class call girls and private rooms for rich and powerful men with deep pockets. But nobody really knew.

***

“We are on the list,” Han motioned to the paper in the bouncers hand.

“I don’t see Han Solo listed anywhere.”

“Well there must be a mistake. I’m the new starting quarterback of the Rebels and I was told just to show up and give my name.”

The bouncer looked at the list with uncertainty. “Are you a guest of Mr. Calrissian?”

“Yep. That’s it. That’s the party that Chewie and I were invited to,” Han lied smoothly, entering the club as the bouncer stood to the side.

The hallway was lined with red walls and lit with red lights over a black carpet with a red Crimson Dawn circle logo woven in every few steps. Rounding the corner, they entered a brightly lit room adorned with gold. The backlight is the bar was lit in red lighting, and the tables were black granite. In the centre was a dance floor of black granite speckled with gold, and red strobe lights hung overhead with a silver ball.

The crowd was a lively mix of old and new money. Laughter and chatter filled the air.

People wore their finest clothes — making Han & Chewie stand out even more than they did.

As they approached the bar, the bartender Dryden, as his name tag said, eyed them warily, before speaking in a low-timbered voice, “How did you get in?”

“We are friends of Lando,” Han casually lied, assessing the man across from him, taking in his tall lanky physique, short immaculately styled blonde hair, blue eyes hidden behind oval gold-tinted eyeglass frames, dressed in a smart black suit. “We are not here to make trouble.”

“I can vouch for him, Dryden. He’s an old friend.”

Han turned slowly to the soft and familiar voice. Before him stood Kira, dressed in a tight, figure-hugging v-neck dress. Her soft brown hair was upswept to rest low on her neck in a cascade of curls, with soft tendrils surrounding her face. Her brown eyes were adorned with subtle make-up, her lips a soft gloss. _She is exceptional._

“My little sister has grown up!” Han said gruffly, his voice catching on his throat. It had been too many years since he last saw Kira. She was placed in the same foster home as Han, and they were at once inseparable. Then one day she was gone, the system having placed her somewhere else. He tried to locate her, but to no avail. _It was almost as if she didn’t want to be found_.

“What have you been up to?”

“This and that.” Kira shrugged her shoulders, her eyes not quite reaching his.

“Perhaps you should show your _friend_ to the gambling rooms,” Dryden interrupted, in a voice that wasn’t a suggestion. “I am sure Mr. Calrissian is looking forward to seeing his... _guest.”_

“Of course.” Kira turned to lead Han and Chewie to the secluded section behind the room.

At the centre of the sabacc table was a tall, dark-skinned, exceptionally handsome man, with short dark hair, and expressive brown eyes and wise smile. In front of him was a large pile of chips. Surrounding him were less happy companions.

“Who let you in, pirate?” Lando drawled, leaning back in his chair.

“Lando Calrissian. Good to see you, again.”

“Coach Kenobi must be relaxing in his old age if he’s letting this star quarterback partake in gambling?”

“Did that ever stop you?” Han replied with a smirk.

“How right you are. It seems my backup QB observed more than the fine playing skills. Why don’t you and your friend pull up a chair? And the lovely lady too.”

Lando rose to hold the chair out for Kira. Once everyone was assembled and introduced, a lively game of sabacc broke out, with Lando’s pile growing larger.

***

Kira sat back, taking it all in, finding herself enjoying this evening — a rare experience for her these last few years. It was nice seeing Han again, old feelings resurfacing closer to the heart than she would ever admit. But any hope of a bright future died when she met Darren…

She plastered a smile on her face, laughing when the others laughed, offering non-committal responses when asked any personal questions. _Someone was always listening._

“The owner extend his compliments.” Kira looked up at the new girl, Rae Sloane, who was placing a bottle of Dom Perignon on the table, subtly catching the signal sent her way.

Kira felt guilty for recruiting such a lovely girl to Crimson Dawn. It was a predatory move on her part, preying on Rae’s weakness, like a shark.

 _But one must be a shark to survive amongst the pariahs._  

_***_

“Well what do we have here. My eyes have never seen such a fairer maiden. Enchanté madame.” Lando leaned forward, offering his hand to Rae, gently kissing the back of her hand.  
  
The woman before him was breathtaking. Just a bit over average height, soft ebony complexion, long hair feathered away from her face in fashionable style, her eyes a complex golden brown.

“My name is Rae, Mr. Calrissian. _Anything_ you desire, it is my pleasure to serve you,”

replied Rae, her voice came out in a well-rehearsed seductive purr.

“It would please me to have you join us, and watch me force a fool to part with his money,” Lando replied, tilting his head towards Han.

“Care to wager the Pontiac Trans-Am on that conviction?” challenged Han.

“I’m confident that when I’m done, you will be lucky to walk out with nothing but the gold dice charm you are fiddling with.”

“Let’s shake on it.” Han extended his hand into Lando’s handing, gripping firmly in a prolonged shake.

***

The gathered crowd grew silent as they observed the final hand of the sabacc game. Judging by his smile of confidence, and Han’s look of desperation, this looked like another victory for Mr. Calrissian.  
  
If they had looked closer, they would have seen the panic underneath the surface of Mr. Calrissian’s eyes, realizing the trick card he kept in his sleeve was missing; they  most certainly missed the slight upturn of Solo’s lips.  
  
“Call.” Han challenged. The crowd thought he was bluffing his way through the game.  
  
“Full House!” The crowd cheered. Lando reached over to collect his winnings.  
  
“Not so fast. A full house is admirable. But I don’t believe that beats four of a kind!” He tossed his cards onto the table with flourish, his subtle smile breaking into a wide-grin.  
  
The crowd went wild.  
  
Lando’s head fell into his hands. Rae reached over and pet his back.  
  
“Well done Han!” Kira exclaimed with glee, reaching over and giving him a hug.  
  
“Well I have my lucky dice,” dangling the golden dice he had since his childhood in his hand, “and I have the best gal around as my good luck charm!”  
  
***

  
“Kira. You are wanted upstairs. Direct order from Darren himself,” interrupted Dryden, his commanding voice silencing the room. “You as well, Ms. Sloane. Bring Mr. Calrissian with you.”  
  
Kira’s eyes dropped, removing her arm from Han.  
  
“I have to go. Good seeing you again Han.”  Reaching over to hug him, she whispered, “Don’t come back here, and don’t contact me again.”  
  
Han swung his eyes in confused shock. Kira quickly disappeared, heading towards the elevator.  
  
Rae followed, her eyes downcast, her back rigid, holding onto Lando’s hand.  
  
“Hey Han! Catch!” Lando turned back, tossing the keys back to Han. “Take good care of her. The team is yours now too. Go get the Rebels a Victory!”  
  
Han stood rooted in his spot, his eyes following them. Kira got into the elevator and looked up, their eyes meeting, his with confusion, hers with resignation, before the doors swiftly shut.  
  
“I’ll give you and your deaf friend one minute to leave this property. Please don’t wait to see what will happen if you exceed that time.” Dryden levelled a stern look to the two men.  
  
_Come on Chewie. Let’s get out of here._   
  
Chewie grunted in response.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Did you enjoy this trip back in time? For those wondering, yes, we will have more chapters like this. They serve a larger purpose central to the main characters of the story. 
> 
> Next chapter: First day of practice, and a few characters have something to say, on and off the field.


	4. I'll Be There For You

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> First day of practice. Some interesting confrontations leads to an unexpected relationship development. Finn reflects on how far he has come. Distant memories don't always stay there.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: We deal a bit more with Finn's past, which briefly mentions abuse in the foster care system related to his homosexuality. Keep in mind the era this story is set-in. We've come a long way. But it may be upsetting to read. 
> 
> Moodboard gifted to my by my loveliest of lovely friends, @Luxlush. xoxox

****

**Chapter 4 - I’ll Be There For You**

_ I'll be there for you, when the rain starts to pour. I'll be there for you, like I’ve been there before.  _ _ I'll be there for you, ‘cause you're there for me too.  _

_ No one could ever know me. No one could ever see me. Seems you're the only one who knows, what it's like to be me. Someone to face the day with, make it through all the rest with, someone I'll always laugh with. _

_ Even at my worst, I'm best with you. _

_ (Song: [I’ll Be There For You](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q-9kPks0IfE) \- The Rembrandts) _

* * *

**Late August 2005 - Practice**

Rey met up with Finn just before the exit doors to the practice field. This was it. All those years practicing roundoffs and backflips and cartwheels at an inner-city college, and here they were, about to take the field of one of the most elite colleges, about to take their spot on the award-winning Alderaan Rebel Squadron Cheer Team. It was almost too much to take in.   
  
“You ready, Peanut?”

“I was born ready!”    
  
The interaction of earlier was pushed aside in her mind. She was ready to prove herself.   
  
“It’s time to show them what these two scavengers can do. We do this!” Finn whispered, grabbing her hand as they sprinted out on the field.    
  
Rey gasped as they arrived to their designated spot. She had never seen so much green on one place. The field was immaculately maintained, the school logo freshly painted in the center. A far-cry from the patchy yellow grass that was Jakku Community College. She  spun around, taking in the 80,000 seat stadium. Massive pillars lined each end, giving the feeling like being in a ancient coliseum, enhancing that gladiator-like feeling. Flags of past victories hung from these columns, a reminder of the legacy this team carried on their shoulders.  Along the circumference of the stands that divided the lower and upper half, names of the most valuable players in team history encircled the stadium. Rey’s eyes scanned the names. At the center, the first quarterback in team history:  _ Anakin Skywalker.  _ Scrolling a bit further, she discovers another name she recognized:  _ Lando Calrissian.  _ She skimmed names such as _ Andrew Snoke, Brendol Hux, Kes Dameron, Darren Maul, Luke Skywalker, Han Solo. _

A loud whistle jostled her from her thoughts. 

“Okay everyone! Welcome to your first official practice!” Coach Holdo addressed the group in a firm authoritative voice. 

“I trust that everyone spent the summer honing their skills, and started practicing the routines outlined in the playbook that I mailed to all of you at the beginning of the month,” she paused, peering at the collective nodded heads as affirmation. 

“Excellent. Now just a reminder that our space is limited to the sidelines on the east side of the field. When the Rebel football team takes their rest sessions, we will have access to the field to practice our halftime show. We have to take advantage of every spare minute we have of the field, so I expect everyone to be ready to go!"

“Yes, Coach!” The team replied in unison.   


“One more thing. Under no circumstances are you to fraternize with the football team during practice. That means no flirting!” She leveled Bazine a pointed look.

* * *

Ben ran out the field. He was always the first one on the field, and the last to leave.  _ But it was Poe last-to-enter-first-to-leave Dameron who Luke thought was good enough to lead the team,  _ Ben thought bitterly as he headed to the sideline.  Putting his helmet onto the stand at the back of the bench, he headed to the field to begin his warm up. 

The cheerleaders were in their area, and he could hear Aunt Amilyn yelling out commands, her normally gentle voice turned into one of firm command.  “Back straighter Paige. Bazine, you’re still over-rotating on your flips. Finn, mind your feet placement unless you want to drop the girls.”    
  
“Very good Rey. Very good indeed.” Ben’s head whipped in their direction, his eyes focusing quickly onto Rey.    
  
_ She is amazing.  _ He watched her complete a complicated sequence, transitioning from one move to another _. Mom would adore her. _

“See something you like, Solo?” The cocky voice of Dameron startled Ben from his stare. 

“That’s none of your business, asshole.”   
  
“Rey is a real beauty. Sweet as can be, in and out of the sa—” Poe choked on his last word, as Ben grabbed him by the neck.    
  
“You fucking lying piece of shit. Don’t you ever, and I mean ever, talk about Rey that way again. I know you lied last about what happened last night,” yelled Ben, anger radiating off his body in a visceral shake.

Poe swung and hit Ben in the face. Ben swung back, connecting with Poe’s nose. They fell to the field, matching fist-for-fist, before Luke and three other players ran over, pulling them off each other. 

“That’s enough! Poe, you are a leader of the team — start acting like one! And Ben, unless you want to sit the first game, check your anger!” Luke growled.    
  
Ben shook himself off the player holding him, then ran to the bench, continuing to glare at Poe as they each headed to their sections on the field.  _ This is not over,  _ Ben thought to himself.    
  
He turned one last glance over Rey, anger still on his face.    
  
Rey stood there, her face visibly shaken. 

_ Damnit, what must she think of me? I’m a monster. _

***

Rey looked at Ben, their eyes meeting. She saw anger in his eyes, his body shaking with barely held control. She was shocked at what had transpired. 

_ He defended me... nobody. _   
  
There was a brief look in his eyes, almost like a mixture of shame and regret.  

He quickly looked away, his body language one of dejection.

Before she could stop herself, ignoring all of Coach Holdo’s warnings, she ran to him.

“Ben…”   
  
He turned to her.    
  
She reached for his hand, and his voluntarily reached back to hers, his big hand engulfing hers.    
  
“Thank you,” she whispered, shyly lifted her head up, standing on her tiptoes to kiss his cheek, before dropping his hand and sprinting away.

Ben raised his hand to his cheek.

* * *

If either Coach Holdo or Coach Skywalker noticed, they never said anything to Ben or Rey. 

But they did share a knowing look from across the field.   
  
_ The Force always finds a way,  _ Coach Amilyn thought to herself, her mind drifting back to once upon a time. 

Luke’s eyes watched Rey sprint across the field, memories from long ago crawling out from the cobwebs of his mind — and with it the regret of his failures.   


* * *

“Okay boys, time to simulate some of the plays I’ve designed. Go line up. Remember, you don’t need to use the full force of your bodies for this drill. We are just practicing some basic maneuvers,” Coach Skywalker barked at the team. 

They lined up. Ben’s eyes focussed squarely on Poe while he made his first call. 

“Death Star. Death Star. Hut!”

Ben tossed the right guard aside and slammed into Poe’s body, knocking him hard to the ground.   
  
“What the fuck dude?” Poe yelled at him from the ground.    
  
“Just practicing my sacks, buddy,” Ben held out his hand to help Poe up, before turning back to head to the formation line, a smirk creeping on his face.    
  
_ That was for me.  _   
  
“Ben. Ease up on your hits. This isn’t WWF Wrestling!” Luke yelled across the field to Ben.    
  
They lined up again.    
  
“Death Star. Death Star. Hut!”   
  
Once again, Ben tossed the player in front of him to the side, before flying towards Poe with full force.    
  
Poe laid on the ground, winded.    
  
“Seriously, fuck off Solo.”    
  
Ben didn’t bother helping Poe up, and turned to head back to the line of scrimmage. He glanced over to Rey at the end of the field, watching her as she was completing a series of backflips.    
  
_ And that one was for you. _ __  
__  


* * *

  
Practice was over, and both the football and cheer team left the field, everyone feeling a bit worse for the wear.    
  
Finn noticed Poe limping a bit, not at all surprised. Even the least football savvy cheerleader noticed Ben sacking Poe with particular force, as if he was settling a personal score. They gossiped about what set Solo off.    
  
_ I think it’s because Poe likes me again,  _ Bazine gloated.   
  
_ I heard that Solo was jealous of Poe for getting the starting QB position,  _ Kaydel speculated.   
  
_ Maybe he’s just a good player, _ Finn had offered his opinion.

Rey was the only one who remained silent. Peanut was normally not one to hold back her opinions, but it was almost like she was _deliberately_ withholding her thoughts. Not that Finn hadn’t noticed when Rey kissed Solo on the cheek. He didn’t think Rey even knew Ben. Obviously something changed, and he made a mental note to ask her about it later. 

They never kept secrets from each other. It was hard for Finn to open up. Foster care hadn’t been particularly kind to him. He bore the scars on his back when his last foster family found out about his homosexuality. He barely escaped, with only the clothes on his back. 

He was cold, alone, and hungry when he found Rey. She was like a literal ray of sun, bringing light into his life. She gave him hope when he had none. She accepted him for who he was, and there was nobody he trusted more. 

_ If I am the sun peeking through the rain cloud, then you are the rainbow in this storm that is our life,  _ Rey said to him when they huddled together at night, their cardboard box barely keeping them warm. He would do anything for Rey.  _ Including protect her. _

Finn glared when he caught Ben glancing at Rey as they walked into the tunnel. Finn has little tolerance for bullies. Poe was a good friend, unlike Ben who couldn’t give them the time of day when they met.

“Hey Buddy,” said Poe, sauntering over. “You coming to the lake party after tomorrow’s game?”

“Wouldn’t miss it!” 

“See you around then,” replied Poe, lingering for a bit before heading to the showers. 

_ What is going on?  _ Finn thought. If he didn’t know any better…   
  


* * *

  
“Bitch. What are you doing making moves on my boyfriend?” Bazine slammed her hand on Rey’s locker door.   
  
“I wasn’t aware Ben was your boyfriend,” stammered Rey, eyes widening, as Bazine cowered over her.    
  
“Did you really think that he would even consider dating someone like you?  _ A scavenger rat?”  _

Rey lowered her eyes, biting her lips to prevent tears from falling.

“Do you think Ben is going to rescue you from your pathetic life. His family is practically Alderaan royalty. There are expectations that come with people from our class. Guys like that don’t date street rats. You might be good for a quick fuck, but he’ll marry girls like me.”    
  
Rey waited until Bazine stormed away before fleeing to the bathroom, locking the door behind her. She slid to floor, wrapping her arms around her folded legs, resting her head into her hands.    
  
_ It’s not like she said something that wasn’t true,  _ Rey thought to herself as a muted sob broke from her lips.    
  


* * *

Freshly showered and changed, Ben walked into the hallway. His eyes scanned the crowd, looking for Rey, but she was nowhere to be found.    
  
“Hey there, loverboy!”

Ben stiffened, recognizing the venomous voice, before turning with a glare. “Not now, Baz. Not ever. We are over. There’s nothing I have left to say to you.”   
  
“Oh come on sugar. You know it was just one time with Poe. It didn’t mean anything,” she glanced at him with wide doe-eyes, exaggerating her pout, resting her hand on his chest.    
  
“Seriously. Go find some other inheritance kid to mooch off of and leave me the fuck alone.”   
  
“Do I need to wear orphan clothes to get your attention?” She spat angrily, her eyes narrowing.    
  
“You aren’t half the girl Rey is. Besides, from what I hear about your father and his problem with the Securities Commission, you won’t be far off yourself. So unless you want the whole school to know, leave me the fuck alone. And leave Rey alone. If I find out you so much as glanced her way, I’ll hire a plane to sky write your dirty little secret.”   
  
Baz backed up, her eyes frantically darting to make sure nobody heard them. “Fine. I’ll play nice. Just...don’t say anything.”    
  
Ben watched as Bazine darted away, glad that chapter of his life was closed.    
  
The crowd had cleared out, and he remained there.  _ Where was she?  _ __  
__  


* * *

  
Rey washed her face, hoping to wash the puffiness of her eyes away, hoping she had stalled long enough that there would be nobody around to witness her blotched face.    
  
She zipped her grey hoodie up to the chin, raising the hood over her head. Her grey sweatpants hung on her think hips as she slipped her feet into her scruffy Keds.  Her eyes darted to the hallway, and seeing that it was empty, she sighed with relief and proceeded to walk to the entrance.    
  
“Rey!” Ben’s deep voice called out, startling her.   
  
“Jesus, Solo. Are you trying to kill me?” she gasped, clutching her chest to try to still her rapidly beating heart. 

“I have that effect on girls.” Ben grinned, his smile reaching his eyes. 

_ Damnit. He cannot be sexy. I don’t have time for sexy.  _ She peered at him, taking in his muscular frame outlined in his dark shirt, his strong biceps bulging out of the sleeves, his jeans molding to his massive thighs.... _ Damnit.  _ __  
__  
“I’m sure  __ your girlfriend is thrilled,” replied Rey, staring at him defensively.    
  
“I don’t have a girlfriend. Are you volunteering? If so, I gladly accept.” Ben smirked.    
  
“Seriously? Piss off, Solo. I know how your kind works. You think it’s funny to date girls beneath your class?  I’m not Cinderella and I don’t need a Prince Charming. I’ve done just fine up to now. And I most certainly do not need your kind to come at me just because you trying to mark a box on the dating bingo card!”   
  
“Rey, I don’t know what others are telling you about me. But I’m not that guy. I never was. I promise that you aren’t just another conquest. I would never hurt you,” his voice cracked, betraying his confident stance. “You have to believe me. Come, get to know me. Please.”   
  
He reached his hand to her. 

Rey looked at him, tears running down her eyes.    
  
She wanted to believe him.    
  
To put her trust in him.    
  
_ Maybe to be with him. _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter: It's game day! Which also means after-game lake party. Which also means some major relationship development. ;)


End file.
